Where Do I Start?

"I think it would be really helpful if you wrote in your journal."

Yeah, sure. Like putting down in writing the shit-show that is my life will change anything. Like it will do anything to take away the constant pain swirling around in my brain every night keeping me from getting a decent night's sleep. It's like the incessant chattering of an annoying colleague, I will never be able to silence it no matter how much I write about it.

"It might help you process what happened."

I don't want to process it. I want to reverse it. Or at least, wipe it from my brain like Will Smith in Men in Black.

"It'd be great if you wrote down something every week. Whatever you want. Whatever is on your mind. Just write it down…"

All right, I'll do it — but I warn you now — you're probably not going to like it.

I still remember the first time going to therapy. I sat in that shitty little room above an Aroma coffee house at St. Clair and Yonge, wondering how to start the conversation. I didn't know what to say. Eventually, the doctor said, "tell me about yourself." But how do you sum up your life in a few sentences? Well, one of the things I have learned in my years in the market is that everyone loves stories. So instead of giving the clinical description of my 55 years on this planet, here's my life told through a series of stories.

— C